


This is the Way the World Ends

by kirakirababy



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Gay, Gay Sex, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 03:25:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4591173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirakirababy/pseuds/kirakirababy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Living is a process of forgetting</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is the Way the World Ends

Living is a process of forgetting.  
  
The more times you remember something, the less reliable it is.  
Which means that every time you recall a memory  
you unintentionally re-write it.  
Until what you have left  
is the inaccurate product of later impressions and hindsight reasoning.  
  
 _You laughed, head thrown back and eyes sparkling devilishly in the spotted summerspringfallwinter...summer sun. Light caught in the ice of your tea and reflected off your bare neck and arms. Your face was obscured by the... babiesbreathlilliesdaisies...babies breath on the table of our favorite cafe. Blurred in the delicate foliage, I thought you looked wildyoungexhausted... and beautiful._  
  
Where do you go to find a memory?  
That strange, silent space  
of what feels like a split-second reconstruction of past events...  
  
 _Locks of goldenblondebrunetteblack...blonde hair clung limply to your face and neck. Your shirt, drenched in sweatrainsnow...sweat and covered by a fluttering, unbuttoned trench coat, was plastered to your chest. You let me take a drag off your half-spent cigarette and your fingers ghosted over my pursed lips. When you smiled, a white cloud of swirling smoke and feathery breath broke apart where your fingers had just been.  
You asked me if I wanted a another smoke  
as you fished into your back pocket and extracted another menthol,  
and I smiled knowingly at the ragged edge to your voice.  
I was sure you would blame it on a cold  
if anyone bothered to ask._  
  
During the creative process of memory reconstruction,  
some elements are sharpened  
  
the smell of your skin and hair  
the way you looked from behind as you bent over your makeup mirror  
the feeling of your calloused fingers against the back of my hand  
  
while others are dulled by time and constant recollection  
  
the color of the ceruleanazurecobalt... winter sky  
the name of that now-closed and rundown restaurant  
the words whispered against the soft curve of your shoulder  
  
 _”Leave the lights on.” You murmured into the skin of my neck, nipping softly at the already abused space above my collarbone and tugging my hand from where it had been fumbling with the lightswitch to rest shakily on your hip.  
You pressed your thigh between my legs and I cursed under my breath when you urged me with words full of whispers to, indulgemefuckmekissmeloveme... which was it?_  
  
The memories...  
physical traces of the life we created together  
were breathtaking  
in their everyday  
ordinaryuniqueness  
  
 _The formal occasion made you feel like a stranger. Halfway across the room, doused in the cool light of our managerpromoterproducer....manager’s extravagant loft apartment. I watched you laughing with a friendloveraquaintence...friend.  
Your freshly dyed hair shone softly when you shook your head, and the color of your cheeks made me feel homesick. _  
  
The real trouble is  
  
when you’re living in a flash of light  
barely experiencing the presentmemories  
before they become the lipstick traces of the past...  
  
 _I was stunned._  
Like I had fallen off the monkey bars  
crashed my bike  
took a soccer ball to the stomach  
  
In that moment, I lost my breath.  
  
you think that you have  
all the time in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted at:  
> http://sciencesaves.livejournal.com/30656.html


End file.
